Lily Charlie Rolander Memorial Fund

If you were lucky enough to know Lily – Charlie, you know how her mere presence lit up a room, her laughter could double you over, and her wisdom surpassed her years. At the same time, Lily – Charlie’s life was riddled with complexity and challenges.

 We have created the Lily Charlie Rolander Memorial Fund to support others facing similar struggles.  Many of you have asked us where you could donate in her name. We would be honored if you choose to give to her memorial fund to keep her spirit alive. In the first year, we would like to give to causes related to trauma treatment, dyslexia education, mental health, substance use disorders, or suicide prevention. We would be so grateful for your contribution in Lily – Charlie’s name.

What’s in a Name?

August 23, 2025

Charlie became a twinkle in John’s eye when we were in Hawaii with our friends  Jennifer, Andy, Renee, and Scott. John woke up one morning saying, “Don’t you miss the baby stage?” Having given away absolutely all of our baby paraphernalia and being ecstatic to finally be able to sleep through the night, I exclaimed, “Nope! I’m good!” Then John does what he does best…he started the sales process. Within 20 minutes, I gave in. I texted my friend Angela and said, “John wants to adopt a third!” to which she replied, “YES! Liza, Lucy, and Lily!” So, that is how Lily got her formal name. And that is how Charlie became a twinkle in my eye, too!

So, you ask, where did the name Charlie come from? Well, since my mother, Rae Lee, died before I had my girls, I wanted them to have part of her name. Liza became Liza-Rae, and Lucy became Lucy Lee, so that each of them had part of Mom’s name. So, when John threw in the third child wrench, I had to figure out how to add Mom to the third. I wish she were here so I could ask her about why she called me Charlie, but she did, especially when I was acting brave. For example, I remember when we were up at Northstar in the middle of a blizzard, and no one else wanted to ski, I would go ski with her. That is an example of when she would call me her Charlie girl. (This, by the way, infuriated my sister! She always wanted a nickname, so she tried to give herself the name Sunshine, but it never stuck! 😂)

Charlie’s formal name became Lily Charlize Rolander, and her nickname, Charlie, is what everyone called her for the first five years of her life. That is, until she met the Shapiros’ dog in Santa Rosa, whose name was Lily. After that, she went back to Churchill school and told all of her teachers that she wanted to be called Lily. It wasn’t until we were at a benefit for Churchill when the head of schools came up to us and said, “I still have a hard time calling Charlie, Lily!” that we realized that she had changed her name at school! So ever since, in the outside world, she is Lily, but for us at home, she is still Charlie.

Donate Two Ways

By Mail:
Lily Charlie Rolander Memorial Fund
CharitySmith Nonprofit Foundation
13100 Filly Lane | Truckee, CA | 96161

Use a credit card by clicking the link below.

The above Memorial Fund is established as a division of Charitysmith Nonprofit Foundation (EIN 87-0636433). All donations are tax deductible in accordance with federal tax law. Receipts for tax purposes are sent via US Mail within two weeks of donation. Please consider asking if your employer participates in a gift-matching program. If so, your donation may be matched by your employer.

For questions regarding your donation or this memorial fund please contact CharitySmith.